*Nursing School can kiss my booty and say Bye Bye!! *

Welp. I did it! I finally finally did it! lol. It's been oooh only 5 years in the making but I did it! I graduated nursing school on Monday. As everyone knows, ever since I graduated from UF/Shands with my Radiology degree, I haven't been completely satisfied with my job, although the money was wonderful! ;) So, working, going to school full time, and being on call full time was not easy... but I can finally look back on all those hard times and say bye bye!! they can kiss my hiney! haha! Well... I guess i can't yet. Have to get a job first, but don't think that will be much of a problemo. ;) We'll see though! Even though it's such an accomplishment and I thought that day would NEVER come, I still have a ton of studying ahead of me, because I'm not an RN til I pass those darn national boards. Yikes. Scared? You betya! Nervous?! Oh yeh! Confident... yes of course! I will be passing that board and I will be adding two more letters already behind my trail of letters behind my name! lol Now, all I'll have to add is BSN, MSN, ANP... that's funny when I look at it actually! BUT, I am soooo excited! I don't know what to do with myself! :))) Here's some pics from graduation! The smile on my face is so excited it's cheesy! :)

YIPPY!!!

*Day of Thanks!!*

I can't believe Thanksgiving has already come and gone already! Time is flying by! That's good and bad i reckon! :/ Well today was a chance for me to really look around me and give thanks to the one who's given me everything I have! There has been so much that this life has thrown at me and it's just amazing to me that through all those storms, I'm on the other side now and can look back and truly say that my faith is the only thing that got me through. Today, first and foremost, I am so thankful for my relationship with the Lord. My faith has been tested and although I haven't always done the right things, He has never left me alone and has gotten me through everything! I'd be no where without my faith. I am also thankful for every single thing that He has given me. I was so blessed to be born into the family I was. My parents are simply the best and I couldn't have asked for better Christian parents. My sisters and my grandparents have been there for me through everything and there is nothing but love among us all! My friends are just wonderful and I'm lucky to have them all! Finally, my biggest gift of all, Jeffrey! Wow, I am speechless and honestly don't know how to put into words how much he means to me and how thankful I am for him. He is amazing. I wake up in the morning and wonder why and how a girl like me gets a guy like him! :) Wow. That's all I can say. I am so so in LOVE!!! I honestly do not know what I would do without him. I don't remember life before him!!:) That, in and of itself is so surprising! Like I mentioned first, something that I've never been able to say any other year...is that I'm so thankful for the situations I've had to overcome to get to where I am today. In the midst of them all, I would question, worry, cry.. but now, it all makes sense. Everything really does happen for a reason. Now I don't do any of that, but can't stop smiling! I just look back in amazement of how I could question what the Lord's doing in my life! All I can do is be in a constant state of thanksgiving... not just on Thanksgiving! :)

So, just like every other Thanksgiving, I woke up so excited to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! My family has always watched it and long awaited the Rockett's performance! Well, wouldn't you know that the second I turned it on, they were in their last position just smiling away and then off they went! I was soooo sad!!! hahaha! Thanksgiving just wasn't the same... ! :( But I can say that today was the first Thanksgiving EVER that I've actually enjoyed the food and didn't force it down! lol. All because the Murrays are brilliant and know how to fry a turkey! Um yeh. It was delicious. I even went back for more turkey nuggets. lol! We started out at Grents house then headed over to the Murrays. Then, of course, headed home to pack for Jeff's hunting trip. Um, can I just say I cried when he left. I don't know why, but I did...! He's gone hunting almost every other weekend but I guess it was just the fact that it was Thanksgiving holiday, my parents aren't here, and I really just wanted to be with him. All I could do was pack myself! I'm headin over to his Mama's house and we're having a slumber party tonight and waking up early to go shopping all day tomorrow! So I'll be having fun too but ya know...! :( Speaking of which, I better go! Party won't start without me! :) ~

*To Oregon We Go!!!*

Oh my googles, where do I begin?!?! The smile on my face is humongous, contagious, and has no sign of going away ANY time soon! :)))) To start, Jeff and I have made it clear to each other that this is it! We have been inseparable and are simply just perfect for each other! He is truly my best friend and soul mate! So, unfortunately because Mama n Daddy are oh, only all the way across the country, we had to scrounge up some moolah for plane tickets for him to ask my dad the big question!! We got lucky, got a little extra money and off we went to Portland, Oregon! Jeff's never been past Kansas so the west coast was a far ways off! lol. So, Thursday, November 11th at 5:30 am we took off for Atlanta and from there, to Portland! Note to self: never ever book a flight that long with a boyfriend who has severe A.D.D., especially when you have the most important and last final exam of nursing school only hours after arriving home Sunday night!! OOOman! He was hilarious! I can say that now but when I was trying to study, no! haha. Probably the most memorable moment on that flight was when he leaned over to me after staring out the window and said, "Honey? What's all that white stuff on the ground?" Laughing of course, I said, "Honey... that's snow!" Poor thing has never seen snow! haha! But we finally arrived in Oregon where we travelled through time and gained 3 hours. Already tired, we still had a full day ahead of us at 1115 am!! My soooo excited parents greeted us with hugs and off we went to eat some lunch and catch up! After a short trip to the mall, we went to the mansion on the mountain where we were greeted by the cutest dogs ever!! so cute! one day, they're gonna end up in my luggage! ;) We cleaned up and soon went to a nice dinner in downtown Portland to the Charthouse on the water! It was so gorgeous at night! The perfect setting for 'the talk'!!! Jeff and I knew my parents made reservations, so I think he planned it in advance! ;) It was so cute.. the night before we were layin there and he was so cute n nervous asking me how he should do it and what he should say. lol. we even did a little role playin...! all in all, it was adorable! :) But, after dinner, before we left.. that's when it happened! I turned soooooo red, I'm sure!! It was dark and I was soooo sick but I'm sure you could still tell! haha! It was perfect though! The end result was a YES!!! :) So so so so so so (I could go on forever) exciting! I am stolked to be so lucky to have him and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with him! Now, just waitin on one more thing! ;) hehe! (Can't wait to write about that, hopefully soon!) The next day, we did some sight-seeing! We drove out to the Pacific Coast. It is so pretty! The mountains literally drop off directly into the ocean! Weird! The waves were enormous, which is the norm! Our coast is sand, theirs is rocks! Jeff got some pet rocks, haha! We went to Haystack Rock and then something else with like a tunnel through a huuuge rock that goes into the ocean. Funny story about that last one..I got absolutely drenched, but we won't go there. Just smile and nod!! Oh and another fun thing.. we spotted a Long John Silvers on the way home! It is awesome because I can't tell you how long I've said I wanted to eat there but, man it was good! Anyways! We finally made it home and sick me, of course went to bed. :( Jeff got me sick so it's all his fault! grrr! Saturday was a football and chicken wings day- one of my favorite things in the world!! I wish everyday was one of those days! We went Christmas shopping and came home to pack. :( Despite being a pretty short trip and my sickness with bronchitis, it was the best trip ever!!!! I can't wait to see what happens next! And with that, I'll keep you updated. Samantha (the cat) needs some attention. Until next time..~

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

*T-Minus 3 Days!*

Thursday can't come fast enough!!! Well, today is an absolute wonderful day so I'd love for this day to last, but as for tomorrow and Wednesday, they can fly by!! Thursday morning, Jeff and I are going to visit my parents!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder! Portland, Oregon here we come!! You know what that means! ;)))) Oh yes! It's going to be a trip to remember!!! I am soo sososos ecstatic but Jeff on the other hand is just a weeeee bit nervous! But, understandably so! He says he's excited about the future, as am I!! Oh my googles, I'm just overwhelmed with excitement and happiness and pure love!! :) I'm so thankful for everyday I get to spend with him and I simply can't wait for the things to come in the future! I can't wait for the day I marry the love of my life! It just won't come soon enough! lol. AHH!! :) Well, I've had some coffee today as if it's not obvious! Plus, I'm so glad I made a A on my test today! That is just unheard of, lemme tell ya! As much school as I've been through, I've never made anything but A's UNTIL this stupid nursing program! Ugh, it is tough. A lot tougher than I thought, even with all of my experience! But, my final's next week, then role internship, then December 13th I am DONE! Finito! No more! That's it! Done! lol. Ugh, that can't come fast enough either! haha! Well, I am so excited for both the near and further future! I am so lucky! It just gets better and better every single day! YAY!!! :) That's it for today! :)

*Summer & Fall Fun!!!*

Well it seems that school has taken over my life and has left me with zero time to write! BUT the other blame goes to the Love of My Life, Jeffrey Stephen Murray, who has also taken over my life! The details would be too much to write but in a nutshell, I "re-met" Jeff back in March! We went to and graduated high school together, swam together, did plenty of things together! It had been 7 years since I'd seen him, so of course, when he walked into my work, I was breathtaken! LOL! My my.. he's grown up! He's a handsome thing, he is! :) Since our first date in April, we've been inseparable and will be forever and ever! Who would've thunk!?!? Back then, if you told me I was gonna be with, fall in love with, and marry Jeff Murray, I probably would've looked at you and laughed but everything happens for a reason and life is full of so so many great surprises! This, is just one of them!! :) That's for sure! When ya know, ya know!!! I'm the absolute luckiest girl in the whole wide galaxy and couldn't ask for anything more!! Of course, a toooon has happened over the summer and now, fall, but the best way to show and tell is through pictures! So, here we go!!! :)

Skydiving!!! Craziness!

SEC showdown! grrr! :)

Go Jaguars!
Sister's Pic! My Big 2-5!
Me n my honey!
Team Brian vs. Team Jeff!My Birthday dinner!

Starbucks Run!!

Beach cruisin' bike rides!

The Rausch Ladies

Besties!

Girl's Night Out!

The P.M.O. fan club!

Go P.M.O.!!

Gone shooting at the huntin camp!

My lil super trooper!

Jenny n Me! Bubba Gump's before my 1st Nascar Race!

Mama n Daddy came to visit! Happy Bday Mama!

T.P.C.!

Sun's Games!

THE pool party! :)

Summer pool fun!

*In a Daze*

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. lol. Well after talking to my parents last night, there's some good news and bad news. Found out it's definitely cancer, the bad news. But, good news is that they're only going to take part of the kidney as opposed to the entire kidney... for now... So that's an answer to prayer! More bad news, the surgery's on March 30, lol. hate that day. It's an evil day all the way around! Maaainly because I'm not going to be able to be there! If they would have waited 2 more days, I could be. grr. Hate this. Even though I sat here yesterday just taking it all in, I'm not sure that it's really even hit me yet. I'm in a daze. It's a daze that I don't think anything or anyone could get me out of. Last night, my friends took me out, but them and anything they did or said couldn't get me out of it. All I really want is a hug lol. I wish I had someone to just hold me, let me cry, and tell me it's going to be okay.. but I guess the Lord thinks I'm strong enough to handle it alone.. and I am, I think. lol. Well today must go on. In a daze, it's hard to get up and motivated, especially since my school load is so intense, there's no way I can't let this slow me down! I guess all I can do is try to figure out something or some way to go see my parents. I think that's the only thing that will make it okay... yeh well. :(

This Hillsong song popped into my head at the first mention of all of this and as I sit and stare at the wall pondering everything, it's been playing over and over for days. lol. It's a great encouragement, saying that the Lord, has, is, and will always come to my rescue...! So very thankful.

Came To My Rescue

by Hillsong

Falling on my knees in worship

Giving all I am to seek your face

Lord, all I am is yours.

My whole life

I place in your hands

God of mercy

Humbled I bow down

In your presence, at your throne.

I call, You answer

And you came to my rescue

And I, wanna be where you are.

In my life, be lifted high

In our world, be lifted high

In our love, be lifted high.

*Finding a Smile...*

Once again, I find myself up and awake at 3:34 am lol when I should very well be sleeping... but this time, it's for the completely opposite reason. It's not because I'm so insanely happy and excited, but actually confused and insanely sad! It's hard to even find a smile, but as hard as it is, I can't help but smile due to everything else going on in my life... :). Well, I found last night that my dad may have kidney cancer. I'd usually never be thankful for kidney stones, but if it weren't for his having a kidney stone last week, they never would've done a CT and never would've found the mass on his kidney... and now after getting the results from the CT, the doctor called and said she wants to see him immediately (later today) and wants to remove his entire kidney as soon as possible. Me, being in the field, knows what this means, and it is in no way good. There's very few reasons why the removal of the entire kidney is to be removed, cancer being the top reason. This scares me to death and hence, is causing me to lose sleep over it. It scares me.. because of his diabetes and lack of control thereof! I wish he would have listened to me the million times I've tried to get him to control his diet and to exercise but for some reason, eating whatever he wanted, exercising, and his diabetes altogether always became a joking matter...! Sad. Diabetes is a horrible disease, and I don't think he, along with so many others really understand that. Kidney failure... is usually the first thing to happen...! The thing that scares me the most is that very thing...! Kidney failure is one thing and could be treated but to remove one and have to rely solely on only one kidney... yeh no. :( especially with diabetes, lack of control and all that mess. So yeh, here I am, having to worry about yet another thing and I'm sure this is only one of many nights I'll lose sleep. When will this ever stop?! It can't ever ever ever be easy with my family. It's always always always something! Always...! I am thankful though that I have an awesome support system, who will be here for me... that will pull me through I'm sure... :). It is so easy, obviously, to become anxious and worried. That, seems to be an ongoing problem area for me lol. I worry about everyone and everything, and am always trying to make everyone happy and fix anything and everything for everyone. I think I see myself taking after my grandaddy...! lol. That's the one thing in my Bible study that I'm trying to change... worrying, not only about me and the things in my life but also worrying for and about everyone else! lol. Not completely, of course, because I am compassionate and all that, but there's a line between compassion and worry! duh. :) I just pray that I am able to be anxious for nothing, but give every single thing, in this and every situation of my life, up to the Lord, for His glory and for His will... harder done than said...!

*Philippians 4:6- Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

Of course, this verse would come to my mind. As I was saying it to myself, it's so easy to forget that little phrase "with thanksgiving." Seems so strange and it is so difficult to do this.... give thanks for this?! Yup...! He's got it under His control, Molly, gotta keep telling myself that and have faith. :)

*All Smiles*

sooo....ooooo... I can't sleep cuz I'm so happy and excited. that's all...............!!!! :)

*Life is a Funny Creature*

Hmm. Life is just that. Crazy. Interesting. Full of surprises. I never know what the day is ever going to bring. I'm just sittin here floating in the tub thinking about just that. Smiling. Yesterday, one day, has brought about more than any other day in a while. Everything I had written just days ago, all my feelings, all my situations have all done a 360 it seems like. The day started off at 5 am running the river run with christina. 6 months out of physical therapy and not being able to run like I used to had me a little discouraged. Okay, a lot discouraged. But, amazingly, I ran the entire thing. All 9.6 miles. That, gave me not only confidence in myself on the road and in the gym, but it gave me a wave of confidence for my.. hmm.. donno a word or how to describe it. I guess in my self-esteem all together. Over the past several months, depression has hit me hard. Just in the past 2 months or so though, I've been able to overcome it with the Lord's help through His word and His helper! :) Since then, Molly's back. My happy-go-lucky self who can't stop smiling and laughing, is back. And it's been obvious I guess. Fellow employees, friends, family,even my manager have noticed the inability to stop smiling. It feels good to be at the place in my life where I am with a humongus smile on my face. Yesterday when I crossed the finish line, it took on 2 meanings for me- one that i was able to finish the race and then analogously, I felt like I was closing that depressive chapter of my life and putting it all behind me. :) Next. lol. My Bible study, wow. It is definitely making me eat my lunch. I'm figuring out areas of my life that need complete transformation, and that, in and of itself is tough to take in. There are sooo many areas of my life in which I fail every single day! I don't even know where to begin! But, I'm starting with the biggest area and while working through that, hopefully the other areas will begin to change also. My accountability partners, my Bible mommies I call them, lol are absolutely wonderful. I have no idea why they take their time each week to meet with me and study the word with me, but wow, I'm so thankful. I feel like I should just make this my thanksgiving list! I can't help but be thankful. The Lord put them in my life at exactly the right, His, timing and in just 2 years, have already seen me go from the lowest low point of my life and up to the highest point, where I am now! :) Love them. I pray that I continue to grow in the Lord and be transformed into all He wants me to be!

Psalm 19: 7-10

"The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul; The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever. The judgements of the Lord are true, they are righteous altogether. They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold."

*Doo Doo Doo*

Life is so very interesting...! That's all there really is to say. Life, today is absolutely wonderful. I feel that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, although if one were to look from the outside, my life seems like a reck! Even though I have literally no time to myself, I love it. I am crazily busy between school and work and couldn't ask for more. I'm continously thankful for what the Lord is doing in my life. It's extremely evident that He's transforming me into whatever it is He wants me to be in this life. My passion for missions, especially to Africa, is overwhelming. I am in the perfect place in my life to work towards fulfilling this passion for ministry. I am still young, single, almost finished with nursing, and am growing everyday. I can't wait to see where He leads me. I'm learning more in one Bible study, Self-Confrontation, than I have in all of my life it seems like. I'm actually waiting to hear back from the international mission board to see if I am able to go help in Haiti over spring break, coming up. Think that would be great, but either way, yes or no, it's a-ok! The Lord has also pulled through for my family. Just found out that my dad is keeping his job, altho staying in portland. that's good news seeing as half of the people with his title are being let go. So, I'm thankful. :).
Well, school. School is crazy. I am so totally stressed and I have no idea where I get my energy from but somehow, I'm surviving nursing school, working, studying, and attempting to maintain sanity somehow...! I don't know where I would be without my twin, my sister, my other half, Christina. Wow, what a great friend. Tho we've just met, it seems like we've known each other forever. We have so much in common, see each other pretty much everyday, and to others, seem inseparable haha. It's funny and I am so thankful for her. Let's see what else is on my mind. Love? I'm not too sure what to think or do about that word. I'm torn between being content being single and happy and letting myself fall for someone. There are a few people out there interested, have taken me out, have my number bla bla blaa, but it's funny that altho I could have something, I'm content waiting on the Lord! Think that's it. I should be studying :/ Off I go. Til next time.