Friday, March 19, 2010

*In a Daze*

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. lol. Well after talking to my parents last night, there's some good news and bad news. Found out it's definitely cancer, the bad news. But, good news is that they're only going to take part of the kidney as opposed to the entire kidney... for now... So that's an answer to prayer! More bad news, the surgery's on March 30, lol. hate that day. It's an evil day all the way around! Maaainly because I'm not going to be able to be there! If they would have waited 2 more days, I could be. grr. Hate this. Even though I sat here yesterday just taking it all in, I'm not sure that it's really even hit me yet. I'm in a daze. It's a daze that I don't think anything or anyone could get me out of. Last night, my friends took me out, but them and anything they did or said couldn't get me out of it. All I really want is a hug lol. I wish I had someone to just hold me, let me cry, and tell me it's going to be okay.. but I guess the Lord thinks I'm strong enough to handle it alone.. and I am, I think. lol. Well today must go on. In a daze, it's hard to get up and motivated, especially since my school load is so intense, there's no way I can't let this slow me down! I guess all I can do is try to figure out something or some way to go see my parents. I think that's the only thing that will make it okay... yeh well. :(

This Hillsong song popped into my head at the first mention of all of this and as I sit and stare at the wall pondering everything, it's been playing over and over for days. lol. It's a great encouragement, saying that the Lord, has, is, and will always come to my rescue...! So very thankful.

Came To My Rescue
by Hillsong

Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek your face
Lord, all I am is yours.

My whole life
I place in your hands
God of mercy
Humbled I bow down
In your presence, at your throne.

I call, You answer
And you came to my rescue
And I, wanna be where you are.

In my life, be lifted high
In our world, be lifted high
In our love, be lifted high.

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